hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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