just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to sanitize my soul.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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