You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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