please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
