in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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