Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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