ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
