i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
