Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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