...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
