I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
