I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
