Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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