i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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