Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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