I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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