I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
