Jerry, you need to find god
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
