.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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