mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He kissed a someone with a penis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
