If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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