So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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