Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
