I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He has the fingertips of a God
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