my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
