you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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