Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
