Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
