dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
