we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
