they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
