Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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