You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
