he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
