Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
