Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
