id be glad to
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just invented taco cereal.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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