I'm so fucking centered right now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
