I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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