Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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