Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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