if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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