The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
