dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm like, not good at living.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
