Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
