Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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