I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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