My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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