I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
