I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
