I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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