ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
